Fitting In
I live in a small town in the deep south. I moved to a new school this past year. I entered seventh grade as an outsider. My school has grades K-12 on one campus. Our entire seventh grade is made up of roughly 60 students. Most of these kids have known each other since kindergarten. Everybody knows everybody. If you accidentally burp, the entire school knows what it smelled like, by the next class period. As a teen with ADHD, I am aware of the struggles of trying to fit in, of wanting to be accepted by your peers. Lucky for me, I have a small group of people who I like and respect. Who in turn accept me as I am; my different thought process, my endless list of random facts ( I think they are interesting), my knack for blurting out the wrong thing at the wrong time, my sarcastic and sometimes quirky sense of humor, the fact that I sweat awesomeness…
Of course, for every person who loves the real me, there are ten others who are not so fond of me. It’s easy to say it doesn’t bother me. Sticks and stones blah blah blah… It’s easy to say it doesn’t matter…
My Outlet
I wrote this as a sermon for my church’s youth group. The youth group consists of ages 12-18. I believe most people will be able to relate to the core message, regardless of their own religious or spiritual beliefs. I hope some of you will take something from this and use it to make our world a better place.
Here Goes
In the first four of The Ten Commandments, The relationship between God and man is established, but we tend to forget the other six that explain the relationship between Man and Man.
Last week during my church’s Wednesday night youth program, someone mentioned that we want to be politically correct, and that we are afraid to talk about God and his word. This is true. Though, we are not afraid to talk about each other. We are not afraid to mock those we do not even know. In this stage of our lives many of us are insecure. We are easily offended and are quick to respond.
If someone speaks their mind, Lil’ Timmy has to comment. Then, Bobby Jr. replies to the comment. Then, since there are so many of us in one place, there is a series of domino effects. There is bickering all around us. Then somewhere down the line, someone gets their feelings hurt and they lash out at someone else. These conflicts become so abundant that it becomes part of our every-day life.
What makes us feel the need to spread such misery? There are several reasons why we treat others badly. We always think that there has to be someone on the bottom of the totem pole, and someone has to be on the top. Some people think that the only way for them feel better about themselves is to be cruel to someone else.
Most of you have heard of the Golden Rule. It basically tells us to treat people the same way we want people to treat us. As a concept, it has its roots in a wide range of world cultures, and is a standard way that different cultures use to resolve conflicts. It appears prominently in many religions, including Hinduism, Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism, and the rest of the world’s major religions. The Golden Rule can be found in some form in almost every ethical tradition.
Do most people follow this rule? Just look at our country’s long history of social inequality.
First, men thought that they were better than women. They believed that women were insignificant and that their purpose in life was to take care of the household and the children. They acted like their thoughts and ideas were silly. They believed that women should stick to “women’s work” and let the big, strong, smart men handle the “more important” maters. It turns out the men couldn’t have been more wrong. Women, despite all odds, stood up and demanded to be treated as equals. Even now, in the US, some women are still being treated as inferior to their male counterparts. There are still companies that pay men more than they pay women for the same jobs.
Then, Africans were grossly mistreated. They were brought here, by force, as slaves. Their white masters treated slaves harshly because they thought themselves superior. They thought the slaves were savages who ate with they’re hands and spoke with yelps and groans. The slaves learned our language and often completed tasks that required high skill levels and careful, painstaking effort. Still their master’s refused to acknowledge their intelligence. Instead they treated accomplishments of slaves the same way they would treat a new trick they had taught their dog. It turns out the white slave owners were very mistaken. The African-American community stood up and demanded to be given equal rights. In some parts of the country, prejudices against minorities are still visible.
As Americans, our English fore fathers were mistreated by the British. Our ancestors’ paid taxes to a king whom most of them had never met. They were treated as if they were inferior to the British. It took great courage and lots of bloodshed to finally win our freedom from our oppressors.
You would think, we should learn our lesson. Why haven’t we?! Why is it that we feel the need to treat ourselves this way?
We tend to believe what we hear from family and friends as we grow up. If people around us speak badly of a person or a certain group of people, then we will most likely share their prejudices. We are guilty of adopting other people’s opinions as our own, without experiences or facts to support our reasoning. At our schools, people express these thoughts to everyone. Then those around them think that if they go along with it, they will fit in with the group. But have you ever thought of who you might offend or even lose as a friend?
Let’s say, you are with several of your friends and they are talking smack about a certain race, gender, or someone’s life-choices. You start saying things you don’t really mean, to fit in. You have no idea that one of your best friends has a family member or loved one that fits into the group you are trash talking. One time is all it takes for friend to become foe.
We must realize, that by dividing ourselves over the tiniest differences, we are limiting ourselves and our future as a nation. As a world.
“A house divided against it’s self cannot stand.” – Abraham Lincoln
God doesn’t care if you are white, black or purple. He doesn’t care if you are male or female. There is a reason why he made each of us unique. For God did not make different races of man, he only made one race; the human race. We are his children; brothers and sisters. We must care for one another. Our father’s love is not directed to one race or gender, just as the sun does not shine for one person. God loves you, He loves me, and He loves the cashier at Mac Donald’s. He loves all of us. That is why we must love each other.
You may think, “I’m not like that. I don’t spread rumors or say mean things about people.” Don’t fool yourself. I know you do it, because I do it. I gossip and find myself talking down to someone who upsets me. We are afraid to come together and face our own insecurities. That is why we push people, different from ourselves, away from us. It’s why we cling to people who are most like ourselves. We must overcome our fear of change; of the unknown. To be happy and successful as one race, people must unite. Nobody wants to be alone. We constantly beg for acceptance from others. We need to stop pretending to be someone we are not, know our own minds, and follow our conscience. We need to be more accepting of other people. In other words, be yourself and allow other people to be their selves, without judgment.
In Conclusion
Can you think of any groups of people in our society that are modern victims of social inequality? Who are they? What can be done in our lifetime to ensure that all men (and women) are truly treated as equals?
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